after the fire

gayne. did you have a nightmare again?

….

You know, if this keeps up, I’m going to have to tell father about this. 

n-no! don’t please. I’m alright. 

you’re outside in the middle / night in your underclothes barefoot. that does not look ‘alright’ to me.

I’ll be arlright, then. 

gayne. why are you so against telling father? do you think he blames you?

would he not? I’ve already caused so much harm I don’t want to be any more / a burden. 

Gayne. 

you don’t have to check up on me every night, Garry. Do you not blame me? are you not angry? 

Angry? of course I am angry. I am angry that when I came home one day the ‘home’ was gone, I am angry that I was not here to help, I am angry that mother is not here anymore, I am hurt that … she had nothing to say to us in her last moment, I… am angry about so many things. but blame you I do not. And neither does father.

why?

It’s because I understand it is no one’s fault. It was a dire circumstance, anything could have happened, there are too many what ifs. as much as you’d like to say you’re all grown up, you’re not even ten yet. I understand that you were afraid. I understand that… there was no time for mother to speak of me, Gwin, or father before… I would blame if it will help. but who shall I blame? Me? You? Father? mother? fire? house? what good would that do? what’s done is done, and I am trying to move past it, as should you. 

….

I will respect your wishes and keep quiet for now. but if this keeps on father will hear/this . I’ll try to find something to help with the nightmares.

come inside with me?

yes.

shall I stay with you until you fall asleep?

yes. I’d like that. I’d like that very much.

sweet dreams, child.